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The Ex No More System
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Two years ago, I dated a guy that I fell head over heels for. The problem was that he didn’t know what he wanted, and he was heavy into drugs. I’m a very serious person by nature, and once I realized that he was flighty – I had to cut him off. But I was heartbroken; he had treated me badly throughout the relationship.
I went to school and met a great guy – smart, ambitious, funny – but I kept comparing him to my ex (because as great as this current guy is, I still love the ex more). I finally managed to put that aside for the boyfriend’s sake, because he is very good to me.
Well, last night I got a phone call, and sure enough it was my ex (we talk pretty often, although I have always made it clear we were just friends). He told me he wanted to get back together and that he still loves me; he said he was working on quitting drugs, and has already stopped the drinking, and is actively going to a therapist. A few other people confirm this story.
He wants me to go on a romantic getaway with him, and to date him again. But I don’t want to hurt my boyfriend because he treats me well, and loves me very much and I can imagine a future with him. At the same time, I can imagine a future with my ex (one involving a lot of love).
Should I go on the trip, or tell him I can’t and cut him off? And who do you think is the best choice – dating someone I love more than anything, or dating someone safe who I have learned to love?
hm, this is a hard one for sure! i think if you feel like your ex has really changed, and you could be with him for the better then go for it, yeah you maybe he hurting your current boyfriend but you need to do what is right for you. however, what happens if your ex boyfriend gets back into his old ways? then what? although, true love prevails over everything. i say go with our heart, if you are absolutly INLOVE with your ex, be with him. people can change, and maybe you’ll be the person that will help him change for good.
you gotta be v careful here, the love to your ex can be illusional (two years is a long time, and one’s you’ll get ower all those feelings you might realise you have nothing to speak about with him) and if you will drop your current boyfriend, he will be very hurt and you are risking to lose them both at the end.
i think you should stay with someone who treats you good. Loving someone who isn’t treating you well- is not healthy.
Wow, this is just the same thing happened to my gf, well you gotta tell him that you love him, and you want to tell him you really busy and want to have a break, so he will tried, Tell him you want spend time with your boyfriend, and Your my best friend too, im happy for you, and smile for him,
Well, I think that you should think about your current relationship independently of whether or not your ex exists. If you are considering leaving him for someone else, even though he is a sweet guy, I don’t think he is the right guy for you. It’s really not fair to him either.
But about the ex, I think it’s got trouble written all over it. I’m not saying it could never be a good situation, but I don’t think you should go with him while he’s still going through therapy and in the process of quitting drugs. Until he is completely clean and completely stable you are probably better off being a supportive friend. He has enough to think about and work through without adding a relationship to the mix.
Anyways, that’s just my opinion. I hope it helps