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my boyfriend and i got into a major fight last week and i said some bad things about him. now we’re together but i feel like he wants to break up. i still really like him and i dont want to break up… how can i keep him? i know that so long as we can work through this we can be okay.
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on Monday, December 28th, 2009 at 4:53 pm and is filed under Answers.
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Have you apologized and explained why you said what you did? You need to let him know how badly you feel concerning what you said about him, that you said it in anger and realize it was an unkind and immature thing to do. Just say you need him to tell you that he’s forgiven you for offending him and causing damage to your relationship. If he’s reluctant to do this, or doesn’t want to talk about it, then it’s time to ask him if he wants to break up. If he says no, tell him again you would appreciate knowing you’ve been forgiven and that, if he can’t extend forgiveness to you, then you’ll have to break up with him. There’s no point in trying to keep a relationship going when you feel there’s a cloud over your head and, if he doesn’t have a spirit of forgiveness that indicates to me his ego is more important than your peace of mind.
Hope this is a lesson learned … when having a disagreement, stick to the subject, don’t name-call (early grammar school behavior) and don’t tell anyone else any of the details (gossipping).